Siime Eye: vibrator + camera for vagina selfies

Reviewing sex toys is tough work, but somebody's got to do it. Usually I say that as a joke -- the "work" involved is almost always joyful. However, at times I have to work pretty hard for you, dear reader, such as this review of the Siime Eye.

The Siime (pronounced "SEE-ME") Eye from Svakom is a very slim vibrator, 1-inch in diameter, designed for internal stimulation, and it has a special attribute: a camera!


Yes, at the tip of the vibrator is a camera which is designed to let you take a photo or video of what's going on inside your own or a partner's vagina. I could, I fantasized, see what my vagina looked like relaxed, aroused, and during orgasm. I could see what my cervix did. Knowledge is power!

First things first. You need to download the Siime app onto a smart phone, tablet, or laptop. The app sets up its own wi-fi network. Once the camera and the app are both turned on, you pair them using the password you're given (you can change it, but why bother?).

Easy peasy following the instructions in the app. Now everything the camera sees is viewable on your device. You can snap photos or record videos of the inner workings of your vaginal canal to export to your personal photo gallery or, I suppose, to YouTube. (No, dear reader, I did not upload mine to YouTube because... just no.)

The truth is that it didn't quite work that way. Truth #1: I discovered that vaginal secretions do not make for a clear camera lens. In fact, all I saw was a coated, cloudy, pinkish blur.

Aha, now I understood why several other reviewers, such as Emmeline Peaches, Penny for Your (Dirty) Thoughts, and Carnal Queen, said that a clear speculum was a necessary add-on purchase before being able to use this product as intended. The nice folks at Siime Eye told me that there's no need for a speculum, but I don't know where they found clear, non-coating vaginas.

So I ordered a clear speculum, size small, from Amazon. I wasn't sure how I'd work the two together, but it turns out that the opening between the two arms of the speculum can be adjusted to make room for the Siime Eye. So far so good.

But then I discovered Truth #2: There's nothing about an inserted speculum that is sexy or even allows for the possibility of arousal. I got a clear view, yay, but there was no way that an orgasm would happen with that thing in me. Truth #3: Although the Siime Eye is a vibrator, that's meaningless when it's inside a speculum. It would only vibrate the plastic of the speculum. Still, it was interesting to see what was going on in there.

Truth #4: Older vaginal tissues are thin and fragile. (I knew that.) As I wiggled the speculum and the Siime Eye around trying to make them fit right and show what I wanted (much like robotic surgery, I'd guess), I felt enough discomfort after a few minutes to abort the operation. The discomfort persisted, and I discovered some light bleeding. That was from the plastic speculum, not the Siime Eye -- which is smooth silicone, slender, and perfectly comfortable on its own. My first attempts at a vaginal selfie failed.


With the camera turned off and the speculum banished to another room, the Siime Eye becomes a slim, buzzy, penetrative vibrator. For women who have discomfort during insertion of a normal-size penis or dildo, this body-safe silicone vibrator might be a pleasant alternative. The shape is straight and narrow, not designed for G-spot stimulation.

Day 2, back to the camera experiment. My theory was that since I now knew how to fit the Siime Eye and the speculum and could do that before insertion, plus I was using plenty of Uberlube for comfort, I wouldn't draw blood. Yes! That worked! However, the view still wasn't clear enough to be worth the effort, and arousal was not going to happen with plastic jaws inside me.

Back to using the Siime Eye solo -- even if the camera lens coated, I wanted see what I could view using the vibrator on its own. Ooops -- twice in a row when I turned on the vibrator and took it to its highest setting, it ran for only a few seconds before the Siime network disconnected and the image froze. I could easily go to my device settings, reconnect, then return to the Siime app, but I'm sorry, arousal stops if I have to fiddle with my iPad.

Another issue I discovered: when the vibrator is in use, the "down" arrow is actually up and vice versa. In other words, if you press the "up" arrow hoping for stronger vibrations, it goes weaker, and if you press the "down," it gets stronger. If the vibrator had been manned (so to speak) by another person above me, the arrows would have been correct in that person's view. But from my vantage point below, they were reversed. Labeling the controls  "+" and "-" instead of  "^" would have eliminated the confusion.

I'm spending way too much time and effort on a product that leaves me underwhelmed, but the idea behind it is so good that I thought you'd want to know.

In case you want to play with the Siime Eye camera for other uses, it doesn't give a sharp image unless you're right up against your subject. Compare the photo of my face from just inches away (blurry) with that of my eye, close enough that a sneeze would poke it out. I wasn't expecting the camera quality of a medical-grade endoscope, so that wasn't a big surprise.

I wanted to like the Siime Eye, really I did. It's such a cool idea, and my Svakom contact person was very helpful and patient. Playing with a partner would likely give you better results than I had solo. And if you're into doctor play, this will be your tool of choice! I'd love to know your experiences with it.




The nice Svakom people also sent me the Keri, a spoon-shaped clitoral vibrator that's small, ergonomic, and light enough for travel. The design keeps it out of the way during partner sex -- very handy when you need an assist during partner penetration. However, I'm lukewarm about the Keri because it's buzzy, not super strong, and the handle vibrates almost as much as the working end, which can irritate your hand and wrist and get in the way of pleasure.

If you'd like to try Siime Eye, it's available on Amazon through an authorized distributor for under $100 at this link. (It's listed on Svakom's own website for $249.) I was supposed to have an additional discount code for you, but it doesn't work right now. Check back -- I'll revise this paragraph if they get a working discount code for you. Update: use the code 3AE84AOZ for a 50% discount on the pink Siime Eye -- use this link and enter the code at checkout. You can also purchase Keri for 50% off  if you order here with promo code QEFGADXL. These discount codes are good through August 11, 2016, US sales only.

Note: To earn the discount, Svakom requests that you post an Amazon review. However, if you do that sooner than 10 days after receipt of the item, Amazon will delete your review. No, don't ask me why. Surely you don't need 10 days to find out that the item either delights or disappoints you, but those are Amazon's rules.

The Pulse, the King of Penis Vibrators

At all my talks and workshops, and in private conversations with men who want to have satisfying sex despite erectile difficulties, I recommend The Pulse, the king of penis vibrators. I am bringing this review to the top in case you don't know about it. - Joan

12/18/16 update: Read about the new Pulse III on my 2016 Holiday Gift Guide for Seniors!


6/30/15 update: There is an even newer version of this product -- The Pulse II -- which David Pittle reviewed. See his update below. Enjoy!

Presenting... The Pulse, a pulsing, oscillating, amazing vibrator for penises that does not require an erection for his pleasure!

That's right -- unlike other vibrating "sleeves," the penis does not have to be hard to start enjoying it. Spread open the flexible flaps, rest your penis in it, turn it on, and enjoy the sensations.

The fabulous folks at Smitten Kitten first showed me this vibrator, praising its qualities. The Pulse works for men of all ages, and it's especially splendid for pleasuring an older man. If you get erections erratically, this toy will make you hard. If erections are not in the picture, you'll still feel tremendous sexual pleasure.

Of course I had to get some men of our age to test the Pulse for us. You can imagine how easy it was to get three volunteers! These men all live in different places, and I wanted to give them each plenty of time to play and experiment, so I arranged with Hot Octopuss, the British manufacturer of the Pulse, to send one product, and the dear folks at Smitten Kitten sent two more.

Here's what my Pulse-pleasured guys told me:

Richard:

I'm a man, almost 58, who has had a number of sexual issues going back more than 8 years. Most of my issues -- temporary impotence, lack of sensation, pain with orgasm -- are because I'm a prostate cancer survivor who was treated surgically. Recently I've been able to resolve many of these issues. 

Given my past challenges, I've haven't taken a lot of time to explore penile sex toys beyond cock rings and therapeutic penis pumps. I wasn't sure what a toy could do for me anyway. But that changed with the Pulse! While not a traditional sleeve toy, it does deliver vibratory sensations to the penis. It has a number of speeds and intensities that are easily set by a lighted button. 

It has a unique feature where some of the vibrations are concentrated in a circular section that delivers an extra boost to the highly sensitive underside of the head of the penis. For me, it’s been a great erection builder. I've enjoyed taking the time to play and experiment with the various settings of intensity. 

Because I still have some limited sensation, I've not been able to reach orgasm using the Pulse exclusively. But it is a very pleasurable toy and has warmed me up to some very nice plateaus. It's made of hard plastic and high-grade non-toxic silicone. It can be used with or without lubricant, but is more effective as a "stroker" toy when used with lubricant. It's easily cleaned with a damp cloth.

Paul:

The Pulse is one toy that’s worth the money! . It has easy-to-use controls, fits nicely in the hand and has a coin-like, raised bump inside at just the right place. It feels wonderful! 

On the low setting, with a little water-based lube, this thing got me hard in no time. And this was after I’d had sex and a great orgasm earlier in the day. I’m over 50, so that’s saying a lot. The next day, this thing had me orgasming in minutes. 

Watch out if you get lube on the hand you’re holding it with though -- it can get slippery. It performs well, but does take a couple minutes to clean due to the ribs inside. A quick wipe with soap and water does the trick -- it can’t be submerged.

This is the only criticism I have: It comes with a USB charger cord but without an adapter to plug into a wall outlet. Fortunately I had one, and you can pick one up cheap. 

David M. Pittle, Ph.D (age 70+):

Most men’s sex toys seem to be some form of sleeve to simulate a vagina. The Pulse is different. Like the sleeves, it is a tube for the penis to enter, but it is open at the top with wings that bend out, so the penis can be simply laid into the tube on top of the strongest point of vibration. This creates the greatest sensations on the most sensitive part of the penis, the frenulum. 

This is an amazingly versatile sex toy. My experience with it was “five stars.” That puts it right up there with the Hitachi Magic Wand.

I was skeptical about the battery because battery toys that are powerful run down fairly rapidly. Ten or fifteen minutes of use and they need recharging. Not the case with the Pulse. In a tribute to battery engineers, the Pulse ran for four sessions of 15 to 20 minutes and was still going strong. 

This is a great product. The only criticism I have is that it can’t be immersed in water. The water will get into the battery compartment. That is somewhat minor, but given the price, a waterproof charging system would have been nice. 

Update: David received a sample of the new Pulse II Solo and had this to add:

There is a new king in town: The Pulse II Solo. First, the new model’s vibrations are not only stronger, but also feel more effective and include programmed patterns. Second, the vibrations come from a piston mechanism designed for penile stimulation. Third, it works longer per charge. There are many other improvements, but these are the most apparent. 

The Pulse II Solo maintains the open top with expanding wings. A flaccid penis can easily be inserted. As it responds to the vibratory stimulation, it becomes as hard as it can and continues to increase sensitivity. As this happens, those wings spread to accommodate the growth in girth. 

The vibratory plate, located under the penis glans at its most sensitive area, is large enough to continue to make contact during the expansion. There are many nerve endings at the base of the penis. The Pulse II Solo is able to simultaneously excite these nerves without losing touch with the nerves in the glans. 

As you can tell, I was excited by the original Pulse, but I’m an out and out fan of the Pulse II. It is without doubt the best vibrator sex toy for men with erectile challenges that I have seen. As a sex therapist often dealing with older men with erectile dysfunction, this is very important to me. I will certainly be recommending this product. 

I applaud the Hot Octopuss company which has taken pro-sex political stances and is promoting improved sex for seniors. Their blog entry, "Coming Of Age: Over-55s Most Sexually Satisfied" is worth reading.

(Sex therapist David Pittle reviews male sex toys for us. Read his other reviews here.)


Note from Joan:
The Pulse is amazing for men. It claims that the outer part also pleasures a woman partner for use by a couple together.

In my case, not so. The inside part that holds the penis is comfortable and stimulating for him, but the outside part that supposedly can stimulate the clitoris is mostly hard plastic and doesn't vibrate much, not the least bit sexy for me. Of course, your experience may vary, and another woman reported getting plenty of pleasure from it. [Note: This comment was based on testing the original Pulse. I'll update it when I've tested the Pulse II Duo, which I understand is greatly improved.]

My recommendation is to let the man use this on his own -- he'll love it, and he deserves a superb sex toy of his own!

See more about how the Pulse works here.

I hope you'll join me in thanking Smitten Kitten and Hot Octopuss for the sample products and for continuing to support my senior sex education work by ordering from them directly.

How Do You End It?

If you're dating (or trying to date), I'd like your input:

Let's say you met someone, either through online dating or some other way. It seemed to have potential as you started to spend time together and get to know each other, but soon you realized it wasn't going to work out.

Which of these do you do?

1. Say something like "I'm sorry, but I don't see us as a match," with a kind explanation. 
2. Say something like "I'm sorry, but I don't see us as a match,", but with no explanation. 
3. Give an explanation that you know will hurt, but will definitely end things. 
4. Give the true reason you want to end it. 
5. Make up an excuse, e.g. decided to get back with an ex, or not ready to date again, or ...? 
6. "Ghost" or "fade away": you say nothing but don't get in touch or respond when the other person contacts you. 
7. Other? (Please explain.) 

Now switch roles. If you've been on the receiving end of any of the above, which one(s) left you feeling okay? Awful? If rejection has to happen, how do you want to be rejected?

Do your answers change in any way if you and this new person have been sexual?

Please comment, and although you don't need to give your real name (please choose something other than "Anonymous"), please include your real age. I'd like to contrast the views of our over-50 age group with those younger.

I look forward to your comments!

Prism V: Gorgeous G-Spot Vibrator

There's a lot to love about the L'amourose Prism V. It is a curvaceous work of art that happens to be a deep, strong, and rumbly g-spot vibrator. It's smooth and ergonomically designed, and made out of body-safe silicone and ABS plastic. As powerful as the vibrations are, the Prism V is reasonably quiet. And it's completely waterproof!

The shape and faceted design are lovely, and it's easy to hold. Although you'll feel some vibrations in the handle, they're muted and not likely to aggravate arthritic wrists. The powerful vibrations stay where they belong -- in the bulb that rests against your G-spot and in slender part of the stem. You can hold it still and let the 5 patterns and 12 speeds do their magic, or you can rock, wiggle, or twist it, whatever you enjoy.

Good luck trying to see the controls without your reading classes or find them by touch, though. My trick: Make sure I have it set to the pattern and intensity that I want before inserting it. Otherwise, I'd never find them, especially with lubed fingers. See what I mean in the enlarged photo here? The "+" is at the top, the pattern selector is in the middle, and the "-" (almost invisible in the photo) is at the bottom.

For some older vaginas experiencing penetrative discomfort, the bulb may be too abruptly plump for comfortable insertion. At its widest, it's just under 1.5" in diameter. You be the judge of what's comfortable going in. Once the bulb is inserted, the stem part is very slim. Of course you'll want to use plenty of water-based lubricant.

The insertable length is 5 inches, but you'll only need to go deep enough to press the bulb against your G-spot, which for most of us resides only about 2-3 inches inside the vagina.

If you wish, you can even use the Prism V externally for clitoral stimulation. It's so comfortably ergonomic to hold that you'll enjoy experimenting with different ways to use it.

L'Amourose makes another similar model -- the Prism VII -- which is a dual-stimulation vibrator: its motor sends vibrations to the vagina and the clitoris via a little protruding arm. The Prism VII can also be used for anal insertion and prostate massage.

My experience with the Prism VII was underwhelming. I liked the slightly different shape of the insertable part -- it's more tapered than the Prism V, and slightly narrower. However, the clitoral arm just didn't deliver enough oomph, with the strongest, rumbly vibrations in the insertable part, and weaker, buzzier vibrations in the external part.

Besides that, the external arm is so small that it was difficult to get it positioned so that it even contacted the clitoris.  Other reviewers have reported this, too. That's a problem with dual-stimulation (aka "rabbit") vibrators: we're all different shapes and dimensions, and I rarely find one that works for my body. My recommendation if you have this experience, too: use two different vibrators at the same time, one internally and the other externally. (That's why we were created with two hands!)

Both models are rechargeable with a magnetic connection to a USB cord, included. Easy peasy. They come with a storage pouch.


Thank you, Smitten Kitten, for sending me the L'amourose Prism V and L'amourose Prism VII in return for an honest review. Thank you also for making it your mission to provide access to accurate sexuality education and body-safe, ethically produced products. I encourage my readers to read Smitten Kitten's "About Us" to learn why I love this store and the people who work there. They also support my work -- they've hired me to speak at their store multiple times, and as advertisers, they help to keep this blog running.

Solo Sex is Real Sex

In honor of May -- Masturbation Month -- I'm reminding you of this post, originally written for Valentine's Day, February 2016.  

"We need to acknowledge that solo sex is real sex," I asserted, and ten people in the audience quoted me on Twitter immediately. I was speaking at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit in August 2015. This was my first time attending Woodhull, and it was an amazing experience:

The Sexual Freedom Summit features human rights activists, sexuality educators and researchers, professionals from the legal and medical fields, authors, sexual freedom movement leaders and organizational partners all working toward the time when sexual freedom is fully recognized as a fundamental human right.

It seems to me that "sexual freedom" includes freeing ourselves from our society's outdated notions, especially as they restrict us, as seniors, from full sexual expression.  No one is standing at our bedroom door proclaiming, "Thou shalt not masturbate" -- at least I hope not -- but many of us have internalized the idea that giving ourselves sexual pleasure is wrong, or a depressing substitute for "real" -- aka "partner" -- sex.

At our age, accepting self-pleasuring as "real" sex is even more important than it was in our youth. Here are some reasons:

1. Many of us do not have a sexual partner at this time of our lives.
2. Many of us who do have a partner are not able to have full sexual expression with that partner, due to medical or relationship issues.
3. Our retreating hormones and decreased blood flow make it easy to forget about sex because there's less urgency. Yet the less we experience arousal and orgasm, the more difficult it is to get there when we want to.
4. Our responses change as we age, and the most direct way to stay in tune with what we need for sexual pleasure is to experiment with our own hands -- and, of course, sex toys.
5. Sexual arousal and orgasm are good for physical and emotional health. In The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50, I list 33 reasons why sex is good for you -- and by sex, I mean with or without a partner.

For those of you who would tell me (as people do, surprisingly), "Hey, masturbation is inferior to sex with a loving partner," I would answer, "There's nothing inferior about sex with the person who knows you best." Plus the obvious -- "How nice that you have a loving partner. Many of us don't."

Whether we're pleasuring ourselves because it's sex with ourselves or no sex, or we enjoy private sex, or maybe we just want to have fantasy sex with Jeffrey Dean Morgan, let's agree that solo sex is not only real sex -- it's delightful sex.

Readers of my Naked at Our Age Facebook page (which I hope you'll "like"), had this to add:

• We are 58 and 57 and we both enjoy solo sex. Sometimes, we do it together. Watching can be quite erotic but more often, we'll do it before bed (usually separately in that case) to help us sleep. Mrs. has a variety of vibrators and we're both definitely in favor. - Mr. and Mrs. Average Joe, erotica authors


• I'm a 67 y.o. man, and in the famous words of Woody Allen, I'm good at sex (with women) because I practice a lot when I 'm alone. (;-). Seriously, it has a lot to do with why I'm still so erotically alive. And yes, incorporating mutual self-stimulation into play with partners is really exciting, and in some ways can feel even more emotionally intimate than PIV [penis in vagina].


• I'm 53. I have been going solo for.the past 11 years (not by choice), now that I am single I am looking forward to having a partner once again. The solo sex has been a necessity!


• I am 50. In my community sex is forbidden to singles and there is controversy about whether masturbation, therefore, is 'sinful.' My stance is masturbation is not sinful and not forbidden to those of us who are unmarried. I think "Solo Sex is Real Sex" but my Christian community may not accept such a statement. 


• I am 58 and flown solo for quite a few years. On the one hand, it's nice because I know all the best places and the exact technique. On the other, it's obviously not as much fun as having a partner. However, that's not always possible and I much prefer it over climbing into bed with a jerk. I wish I had more money for some of the great toys you've shown. I might never want a partner again if I did.

As Valentine's Day approaches (note: I originally wrote this post for Valentine's Day) and we're bombarded with commercial messages about how to make the day more romantic with our loved one (soft lighting, mellow music, gifts of chocolate and roses included), let's remember this:

Love starts with how we feel about ourselves, how giving and patient and accepting and loving we can be with the person who's been in our life the longest. Let's celebrate that with our own special touch (so to speak).

As always, I invite you to comment.*

*But please don't try to spam my blog by promoting products, vendors, or escorts. And please, don't try to use this blog as a hook-up opportunity by posting your phone number and an offer to my readers. Enough of that, folks! That's why I moderate comments. 

Vaginal atrophy? Tight pelvic floor muscles? FeMani®Vibrating Massage Wand can help.

5/15/2016: I have updated a previous 2010 review of vaginal dilators, now that the FeMani®Vibrating Massage Wand is available. I've also added some wonderful wisdom from Ellen Barnard.   

Women write to me that after a long period of celibacy, they find someone they want to have sex with again. Often they didn't think they would discover love/lust again after so many years.

Their elation dims when they attempt penetration and discover that their vaginas feel too dry and fragile for comfort if they try to accept a penis (or sometimes even fingers).

There are several reasons that vaginal fragility, tightness, discomfort, or pain can happen (which I discuss in my books, Naked at Our Age and The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50). With age, especially if you're sexually inactive, the vaginal tissues thin and there's less blood flow to the genitals, causing dryness and fragility, known as vaginal atrophy. A separate but related problem is that the pelvic floor can lose its ability to relax, and in its contracted state, the vaginal opening feels too tight to admit a penis or a larger-than-slim sex toy.

Here's how Ellen Barnard, co-owner of A Woman's Touch sexuality resource center, helps women distinguish between menopause-related vaginal dryness and atrophy and "high tone pelvic floor dysfunction" that can be caused by the lack of blood flow to the genitals after menopause:

If you feel like your skin is very dry, fragile and tears easily then you have vaginal dryness and atrophy. You may experience tearing during penetrative sex and find a little bit of pink discharge after sex. If you feel like the skin is stretching or tearing at the opening of the vagina that is another sign of vaginal atrophy. A good quality, long lasting lubricant relieves your symptoms, and the Vaginal Renewal program will provide further relief and comfort both during daily activities and during sex.

If you engage in penetrative sex and your partner feels like they "hit a wall" either at the opening of the vagina or about 1-1/2 inches inside, or you feel pain deep inside the vagina with deeper penetration you may have an over-tight pelvic floor. The pelvic floor is made up of 3 layers of muscles. After menopause, those muscles can tighten up and not relax because there is not enough blood going to them once estrogen is no longer present. 

If this happens to you then your first step is to see a pelvic floor therapist and get an evaluation of your pelvic floor muscles. If you have over-tight muscles the therapist can work with you to get them relaxed and learn appropriate exercises so you can consciously relax them once the therapy is over. The Vaginal Renewal program may or may not help your pelvic floor muscles, so it is important to get additional help if the description above sounds like what happens to you.

Please download the Vaginal Renewal program from the wonderful folks at A Woman's Touch sexuality resource center, and put it into action for the sake of your sexual health and future joy.

Part of this program is at least one orgasm a week (you don't need a partner for that!) and internal massage using vibration. Yes, really. Internal massage with vibration brings blood flow to the vagina and helps strengthen the tissues. If you're so tight that insertion hurts, slim wands (a.k.a. dilators) will help. These start very slim and progress in graduated sizes as your body adapts and is able to accept more. Barnard adds,

A set of dilators may be used to treat the involuntary tightening of the outermost layer of the pelvic floor that happens with a condition called vaginismus, or when you have high tone pelvic floor dysfunction (over tightening of the pelvic floor muscles that surround the vagina) in the outermost, middle and/or deep layers of the pelvic floor. You would work with a pelvic floor therapist to use the dilators to help you learn how to relax with progressively larger dilators inside the vagina. This work may be accompanied by other work such as psychotherapy when the tightening is caused by pain or trauma; meditation; and relaxation breathing in the case of high tone pelvic floor dysfunction.

It used to be a hassle to even find vaginal dilators, but A Woman's Touch has done the research and development and created FDA-registered, therapeutic vibrating wands that are ideal for the Vaginal Renewal program:

Sizes 2 and 1

The FeMani Vibrating Massage Wand is made of smooth, durable, medical-grade ABS plastic and comes in three graduated widths: Size 1 (3/4" diameter), Size 2 (1" diameter), and Size 3 (1-3/8" diameter).

Order two sizes in a kit with one silicone controller (detachable handle that controls the vibrations). These vibrating wands use AAA or AA batteries (included), depending on the size.

To figure out the size that's right for you, A Woman's Touch recommends this:

Determine how many lubricated fingers you can insert into your vagina when you are not aroused. For one finger, choose the 1 & 2 set, for two fingers choose the 2 & 3 set. If you are unsure or between sizes, we recommend choosing the smaller choice, which will still provide the beneficial massage without the potential strain or discomfort of being too big.

Using vibrating wands is a process for your own sexual health and the health of a relationship you might have now or in the future--and it can be extremely pleasurable, besides!

How to Put a Condom on a Soft Penis -- With Your Mouth

Those of us in our 50-80+-year-old age group who are dating or in non-exclusive relationships need to take safer sex seriously.

Yet how often do we face the challenge that the penis owner in our bed loses his erection (or thinks that he will, or doesn't have one in the first place) when we want him to don a condom? We can have plenty of sexy fun with or without his erection, but what do we do about barrier protection?

In honor of STD Awareness Month, I'd like to share with you an easy and sexy way to put a condom on a soft penis -- using your mouth. With the help of the delightful Kendra Holliday (who told me, "I've never done this before!), the perfectly flaccid Sailor Soft Pack from Good Vibrations, and an expired condom (don't we all have those?), I presented this demo during my "25 Tips for Sexy Aging" presentation at CatalystCon Midwest.  Here are the step-by-step instructions. (Practice on a dildo, soft packer, or consenting vegetable first.)


1. Start to unroll the condom, just enough so that you're sure of the direction it unrolls. Squeeze out any air in the tip. (That doesn't matter for the demo, but it's important when you do it in real life.)



2. Perch the condom on top of the head of the penis and roll it down just a little, keeping it in place with your fingers. If the penis is soft, the condom won't go down much -- that doesn't matter. You're just getting it in position



3. Put your mouth over the tip of the condom-clad penis head, leaving the rim of the condom outside your mouth. Use your fingers to keep the rim in place. Start to suck.



4. Keep sucking gently. Use your fingers to assist the condom to roll down over the penis, which is disappearing into your mouth, much to the enjoyment of its owner. As you continue to suck and the penis gets pulled into your mouth, the condom will continue to unroll over it -- magic!



5. Keep going until the condom is fully unrolled. Keep it in place with your hand as you remove your mouth -- if indeed you want to remove your mouth -- from the well-clad penis.



Doesn't that sound like fun? Oh, it is! Thank you to the lover whom I will not name who first introduced me to this trick.

Many thanks to Kendra Holliday for her willingness to learn this method in front of an audience. Kendra is a sex surrogate in St. Louis and co-leader of SEX+STL (Sex Positive St. Louis). She blogs as The Beautiful Kind.

Thanks also to Randy Austin-Cardona for photographing this process, and to CatalystCon for inviting me to give my "25 Tips for Sexy Aging" at this conference.

Note to meeting planners who were considering hiring me to speak until they read this -- don't worry, this demo is optional! As always, my talks are personalized for your audience and your needs and preferences.