Aging brings wisdom and experience -- and body image insecurity. Most of us, even if we glory in our sexuality, have misgivings about our ever-expanding wrinkles and sags. Sometimes it takes another pair of eyes -- whether a lover or a photographer -- to show us that our outer beauty matches our inner beauty.
At age 65, then again at age 68, I stripped to lingerie for photo shoots. I learned a lot about myself from these experiences and from viewing and sharing the results. People applauded, praised me for my courage, high-fived me for encouraging others to have their own lingerie shoots. My blog posts about these events quickly drew more viewers than any of my other posts, and they continue to place in the top four all time most popular posts. Many women shared their own experiences and photos, some privately. some publicly. I was happy that my experience had helped to empower others.
I didn't know I would do it again. But in September 2016, I slipped (wrestled?) my 72-year-old body into lovely lingerie provided by Lovehoney.com and smiled at the renowned Los Angeles photographer, Perry Gallagher, who specializes in Boudoir, Fine Art Nude, Fashion, and Wedding photography.
How did this happen? Krista from Lovehoney knew Perry's work and mine. When she learned that I would be in LA for speaking events in September, she offered both the lingerie and the photo shoot.
Krista explained her involvement in the project this way:
Joan is a lovely timeless spirit and I was overjoyed to work with her on a photo shoot and check out some of Lovehoney's newest lingerie styles. I connected her with one of my favorite photographers, Perry Gallagher, to complete the vision.
Joan is not only adorable, she is also breaking down stereotypes that women of a certain age are not considered sexy or sexual. I want people to see that lingerie isn’t just for the young and pert. Lingerie, and sex toys, can enhance your sex life and increase your self-confidence no matter your age, size, shape, or ability.
What was it like to work with Perry? A ton of fun. Perry is a true professional. He knew how to put me at ease with his humor and his appreciation of the female body whatever its shape, size, or age. He give me instructions -- where to turn, where to look, how to arrange various body parts -- including tucking myself back into my bra when breast spillage occurred. The whole time, he clicked away.
I felt completely comfortable with Perry -- except when I worried about him climbing on a ladder to shoot me from above. (I have a fear of heights -- he does not.) It was exciting to be at the center of his rapt attention, I admit that. Much of that excitement was the feeling, "I'm doing this. My 72-year-old body is fine with being photographed in skimpy bits of cloth." It was a truly empowering experience that I'll take with me anytime I fret about a new wrinkle or thigh puff.
Thank you, LoveHoney.com, for sending me the luscious undies and sponsoring this photo shoot. These are the products I'm modeling. Follow the links if you'd like to wear these yourself!
News flash: Lovehoney is offering my readers a 10% discount on everything -- not just lingerie! Follow this link.
Thank you, Perry Gallagher, for these amazing photos and for making the whole experience fun and full of laughter. View Perry's video here:
I would encourage other women of all ages to explore the opportunity to have just this type of experience for yourself: to be photographed and to see the inner beauty that is you, right now, no matter what age you are. Now is a good time.
2/19/17 update: I just announced my first webinars:
"How the Heck Do I Date at This Age?" Sunday, March 5
"Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud about Sex & Aging" Sat., March 18
To receive info about these and future webinars, subscribe to my newsletter here. Do it now so you don't miss anything!
Let's talk sex by phone or computer! No, I'm not inviting you to have phone sex or webcam sex with me. I'm inviting you to hear a senior sex class and ask your questions -- via teleseminar or webinar.
Background: Many of you ask when I'll be in your area giving a speech or workshop. You want to learn my tips for sexy aging, or negotiate sex with a new partner, or spice up your long-time relationship, or figure out how to get back your desire for sex, or deal with online dating, for example.
I'm sorry, I get so many emails that I can't possibly answer every one. The answers are often in my books, but I know that many of you prefer a different way of learning, or you want more direct and personal answers to your questions. I do travel to give presentations in many cities (see my events schedule here), but I can't be everywhere.
If I'm not going to be in your area, would you be interested in attending a personalized class by phone or online?
That means you'd listen to my class on the phone or watch it on your computer and be able to ask questions and interact in a small group. You would pay a modest fee to attend, which would include a handout.
Here are some sample topics I'm considering offering:
·Why don't I feel sexual desire and what can I do about it?
·Great sex without erections – sex isn’t all about erections, what we and our partners need to understand about giving and receiving pleasure, no erection required.
·Dating at my age – tips and insights for making it fun instead of scary and sad.
·Online dating at my age – avoiding the mistakes that most people make.
·Safer sex – why I need to care about this, tips for talking with a partner. ·Long-term relationships – how to spice it up again, recapturing desire and intimacy.
·Non-monogamy/ polyamory/ friends with benefits – would this work for me?
·Talking to my doctor about my sexual issues: when, why, how?
·Solo sex is real sex – how to stay sexual without a partner.
·Sex toys – do I need them? How do I choose?
Do some of these interest you? If so, here are some questions for you:
Which topics would grab your interest? Examples above, or add your own.
Would you make time for an hour-long class, or would you prefer 30 or 45 minutes?
Would you prefer a teleseminar (via phone only, no computer required, audio only) or a webinar (via computer, audio and video -- you can see me speaking to you and view slides and images)?
Would you be more likely to attend live, with the option of asking your questions, or listen to a recording on your own schedule?
What country, state, time zone do you live in?
You can answer in the comments section here, or -- better -- email me so that I can contact you when I've finalized details. If you want to be on my mailing list for dates and topics, please email me with "online class" in the subject line. I look forward to hearing from you! Update: Thank you for the emails I'm receiving! Clearly you're interested. If you've already emailed me, I'll be on touch. If not, please do! Let me know which topics interest you especially. Write to me here. Subject line: online class. -- Joan
Do you want a vibrator that's well-designed, well-made, body-safe, and fairly strong -- with a truly ergonomic shape, size, and weight? Impossible, you say? Check out The Rumble from Tantus, a solution if you have wrist arthritis or any condition that makes it difficult to grip or hold up a wand vibrator for as long as it takes to get the job done.
I couldn't believe how light the Rumble is to hold: just 6.6 ounces. (For comparison, the Doxy Die Cast, fabulous as it is, weighs almost two pounds.) Tantus describes the Rumble as "featherweight," and I agree. The shape is also unique -- you can hold it in several different ways and it remains easy on the wrist. The silicone head is removable for easy cleaning -- it's even dishwasher safe.
I love the size of the head. The shape is versatile: you can use it flat-headed for all-over vulva sensations, or, if/when you prefer, tilt it so that the edge pinpoints your clitoris. Either way (or changing it up as you go), the sensation is yummy. Although I'm speaking from the point of view of a vulva owner, its use is not restricted to a particular gender -- all Tantus products are gender neutral. (I'd love to hear from you about how your penis enjoys it.)
The controls are large, easy to see (they even light up), and even if your hand is closed over them, you're not likely to press a button accidentally. Some vibrators are annoying because either any light touch turns the darn thing off, or the opposite, you have to use uncomfortable pressure. The Rumble has it right -- you can touch or glide over the buttons while adjusting how you want to hold it, and you won't accidentally turn it off. When you do want to change the settings, a light, intentional pressure will do it. The power button is placed far away from the "-" and "+" buttons, good thinking.
Is it as strong as the monster king vibrators I tend to prefer, like the Doxy Die Cast, Magic Wand, or Sybian? No, not even close. But for those of you who don't require a turbo power tool to get your orgasm going, you'll prefer the lightweight Rumble for the ergonomic qualities I described. Even if you usually do require mondo stimulation, you might find -- as I did! -- that when you're especially in the mood, this works just dandy.
The Rumble is USB rechargeable and has seven settings -- three intensities and four additional patterns. The vibrations at the lower settings are deep and rumbly, which makes the sensations especially pleasurable, though they do get buzzier with higher speeds. The Rumble is quieter than most wand vibrators.
Tantus is a wonderful company for many reasons. It's owned by one of my favorite sex educators and innovators, Metis Black. Metis spearheaded the silicone sex toy movement in 1997, long before the rest of us were aware of the health repercussions of the materials used in sex toys at that time. Metis values the health of her customers as much as our pleasure, plus she's a delightful, warm person.
If you're into dildos or butt plugs of any size or shape, take a look at the original silicone products created by Tantus. And don't miss the sex ed articles -- pegging, spanking, and how to bring up that sexual itch that's been tickling your brain, for example. Now I've got your attention!
Thank you, Tantus, for the gift of the Rumble in return for an honest review.
I'd love to meet you in person! As events are scheduled, I'll post them here.
I'm currently setting up my schedule for 2017. My suitcase is always packed and I'd love to speak at your event or to your organization. If you are interested, please email me. See more information about my aging and sexuality talks here, and testimonials from clients here.
I also speak about fitness -- click here -- and I'll soon offer non-fiction writing workshops to help you sharpen your skills and create your distinctive style, whether you're writing a blog, an article, or a book.
Subscribe to my occasional newsletter for news, views, and events here. You'll know when I'm visiting your city, and you'll get news of my webinars (online classes) on topics related to senior sex, dating, and relationships.
What’s a webinar, how does it work, and why should you care?
A webinar is an online class. Using a web camera and microphone, I give an information-packed, lively presentation similar to the way I teach when I travel, but you watch online instead of waiting for me to come to your city. You can watch live if it fits your schedule, or watch a video recording of it later. These classes are on topics that you -- my subscribers and readers -- have requested.
If a topic interests you, email me and I’ll send you registration instructions. Once you’ve registered, you’ll get the link where you can watch online. You’ll see me, but no one else will see you -- I know your privacy is important when we’re talking about these intimate issues. You can ask questions by emailing them in advance, by writing them to me during the presentation (sort of like passing me a note), or by talking into your mic if you prefer. So if one of my upcoming webinars interests you, email me with "webinar" as the subject.
I look forward to meeting you -- either in person or online!
In March 2017, I'm presenting workshops in Sebastopol, CA. But it doesn't matter where you live -- I'm also offering webinars which you can watch via your computer from anywhere in the world. Here's my upcoming schedule:
Webinars
How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? Sunday, March 5, 12 noon US Pacific Standard Time*. Dating after 50, 60, 70 and beyond can feel awkward and weird. How do you meet people? Do you need to use online dating? What are the mistakes most people make with their online profile and photos? How do you avoid the pitfalls and creeps? What about rejection? Sex with a new person? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, polyamorous, or a long-time single, this entertaining webinar will be illuminating and practical -- plus you’ll find out how others our age meet and mate.
Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud about Sex & Aging. Saturday, March 18, 12 noon US Pacific Daylight Savings Time*.Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution. Sex has changed but it can still be spicy and satisfying now and through the years ahead, with the right information, creativity, a spirit of adventure, and a sense of humor. Learn facts and eye-popping tips you won’t learn anywhere else that will put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Bring all the questions you didn’t think you could ask out loud. For singles and couples, all genders, all orientations.
* Your time may vary. For information about registering for one or both of the Webinars, email me. Let me know where you live and whether you'll want to attend live or watch the recording later.
Sebastopol, CA workshops
What Happens Next? Sex? No Sex? Different Sex?Thursday, March 9 (5:45-8pm). If you’re over 50, and you haven’t had partner sex in a while, this workshop is for you. Maybe you’re single: how do you prepare for sex with someone new? Or maybe you’re in a relationship, but the sexual intimacy has fallen away: how do you bring it back? What changes and challenges should you expect from your own body and your partner’s? How do you communicate about your sexual needs, desires, concerns? What about performance anxiety? Body image? Condoms? (what if they interfere with erections?) For singles and couples, all genders, all orientations.
For information about registering for one or both of the Sebastopol workshops, email me with "Sebastopol workshops" as the subject.
May 4 - 7, 2017. New York, NY. Scheduling events soon -- stay tuned. [If you'd like to book Joan during this time, please email.]
May 10, 2017. Talking about Senior Sex: Workshop for medical professionals, therapists, and others working professionally with the older-age population at the Annual NICE Knowledge Exchange (ANKE) conference presented by National Initiative for the Care of the Elderly (NICE), Toronto, Canada. More info coming soon. [If you'd like to book Joan for other events in Toronto May 11 or 12, please email.]
Sun., June 4 and Mon, June 5, 2017.Great Sex Without Penetration and 7 Steps to Reclaiming Your Sexual Pleasure after 50: Two workshops at The Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088. More info coming soon.
(schedule updated Feb. 17, 2017)
TV, Internet interviews: Online Now
See Joan's recent television interviews here, including Fox News and Bay Sunday:
Recently completed events 2015-2017:
Thurs, Feb. 9, 2017, 5:45-8 pm. How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at Retrograde Roasters, 130 S. Main St., Sebastopol, CA. Dating after 50 can feel awkward and weird. How do you meet people? Do you need to use online dating? How do you avoid the pitfalls and creeps? What about sex with a new person? Whether you’re widowed, divorced or a long-time single, this entertaining workshop will be illuminating and practical -- plus you’ll find out how others our age meet and mate. Joan Price, author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50 and the award-winning Naked at Our Age, leads the discussion. All genders and orientations welcome. $35 in advance/ $40 at the door. Beverage, appetizers, and sexy freebies included! Registration/questions: email Joan.
Thurs, Sept. 15, 2016: 25 Tips for Sexy Aging!, Pleasure Chest LA, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046. No need to fear aging! Whether you’re 25 or 75, there’s plenty you can learn now to make sure that you age with a juicy attitude, sizzling orgasms, and strategies for staying sexually vibrant despite what the aging process throws your way. You’ll learn practical tips and attitude adjustments to enrich your sex life lifelong – partnered or solo. Some are quick and easy, many will surprise you, and a few will take some practice and commitment. All will benefit you lifelong. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation! Free!
Fri., Sept. 16 - Sun., Sept 18, 2016: 25 Tips for Sexy Aging!, CatalystCon West, Westin Los Angeles Airport, 5400 West Century Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90045. No need to fear aging! Whether you’re 25 or 75, there’s plenty you can learn now to make sure that you age with a juicy attitude, sizzling orgasms, and strategies for staying sexually vibrant despite what the aging process throws your way. You’ll learn practical tips and attitude adjustments to enrich your sex life lifelong – partnered or solo. Some are quick and easy, many will surprise you, and a few will take some practice and commitment. All will benefit you lifelong. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation!
Fri., Sept. 30 - Wed., Oct. 5, 2016: Joan Price is a featured speaker at Well Over Fifty Festival, Hotel Slovenska Plaža, Budva, Montenegro.The Age of Happiness conducts the second annual international festival to celebrate new opportunities of life after fifty. The festival takes place in Montenegro, near the sea. For one week, this event will bring together people who learned how to make their life after fifty brighter, better and more exciting than it was when they were young. They are athletes, designers, coaches, stylists, actors, singers, and travellers. They will come to have fun, to share their experience, and to tell their tricks that help them remain healthy, beautiful, and energetic and enjoy life like never before.
Sat, Oct. 8, 2016: Imagine the Possibilities: Sex after 50, 60, 70 and Beyond. Joan Price is the keynote speaker for the 4th annual Sex and Aging conference, 11 am-3pm, presented by Senior Services at Sibley Memorial Hospital, 5255 Loughboro Road, N.W., Washington, D.C. 20016, part of Johns Hopkins Medicine. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying, joyful sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – our bodies change, our sexual responsiveness retreats, our relationships get weary, maybe we find ourselves single. But for every problem, there is a solution -- with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. Let’s throw out the old expectations that don’t serve us anymore and replace them with a solid plan of action for staying sexy through the decades ahead. Joan Price, author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50 and advocate for ageless sexuality, debunks the misinformation and sends you home with new tools, strategies, and attitudes for satisfying sex with or without a partner. If you are over 50, or you plan to be, or you work with the older population, you’ll learn much from this lively presentation. .
Thurs., August 4, 2016, 2:45 - 4:15 p.m.: 25 Tips for Sexy Aging!, Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, Hilton Alexandria Mark Center, 5000 Seminary Road, Alexandria, VA 22311. No need to fear aging! Whether you’re 25 or 75, there’s plenty you can learn now to make sure that you age with a juicy attitude, sizzling orgasms, and strategies for staying sexually vibrant despite the challenges that the aging process and health issues throw your way — and despite our society’s limiting stereotypes. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation!
Sat., May 21, 2016, 9:30 to 10:45 a.m.: Blogging Isn’t Dead: How to Attract Readers, Followers, and the Media with a Blog that Breaks the Rules, ASJA Writers Conference, Roosevelt Hotel, New York City. Many of us have blogs, but are they effective, or just a time suck? A good blog attracts readers, gets readers involved with your topic and your message, promotes your books, increases your credibility in your field, and positions you as a media resource. What should you blog? How do you reach your audience? What are some tricks for engaging readers? How do you choose “evergreen” topics that people will search for and that will bring them to your blog even if they’ve never heard of you? What are the rules, and which ones should you break? Joan Price has been blogging about sex and aging since 2005. Her blog has won many awards and helped her get book contracts, book sales, speaking engagements, and media interviews. She shares her strategies in this practical, interactive presentation. If you never saw the sense in blogging, or if you have a blog but it feels like a waste of time, this workshop is for you. This is not a tech-oriented workshop – it’s about content, self-promotion, attracting and serving readers, and making your blog an integral – and enjoyable --part of your promotional strategy.
Sunday, June 5, 2016, 3-5 pm: 25 Tips for Sexy Aging! at Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street (at Sacramento St.), San Francisco, CA 94109. (415) 345-0400. No need to fear aging! Whether you’re 25 or 75, there’s plenty you can learn now to make sure that you age with a juicy attitude, sizzling orgasms, and strategies for staying sexually vibrant. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation! But most of us will live long enough to need to deal with the challenges the aging process and health issues throw our way, so get ready to live a life much fuller than society’s limiting stereotypes. Joan Price, author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50 and advocate for ageless sexuality, shares tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Joan answers all the questions you didn’t think you could ask out loud! $20 in advance; $25 at the door, as space allows. Please pre-register here.
Wed., May 18, 2016, 8-10 pm. The Pleasure Chest, 1150 2nd Ave, New York, NY 10065. 25 Tips for Sexy Aging. No need to fear aging! Whether you’re 25 or 75, there’s plenty you can learn now to make sure that you age with a juicy attitude, sizzling orgasms, and strategies for staying sexually vibrant despite what the aging process throws your way. Joan Price presents practical tips and attitude adjustments to enrich your sex life lifelong – partnered or solo. Some are quick and easy, many will surprise you, and a few will take some practice and commitment. All will benefit you lifelong. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation!
Tuesday, April 12, 2016, 6 - 8 pm: Sex After 50 with Joan Price at Jewish Community Center of San Francisco, Fisher Hall, 3200 California Street, San Francisco, CA 94118. Sex after 50 has its challenges, but it can be sizzling and satisfying. We'll address the challenges and celebrate the joys, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, creativity and humor. Take home new tools, techniques and attitudes for hot, joyful sex - with or without a partner.
Wednesday, March 30, 2016, 8 pm: The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging with Joan Price at The Pleasure Chest Chicago, 3436 North Lincoln Ave., Chicago, IL 60657. Joan shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. She'll answer those questions, too — in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her the "senior sexpert." Free. Attendance is on a first come, first served basis. Early arrival is recommended to secure your spot! Info 773-525-7151.
April 1-3, 2016: 25 Tips for Sexy Aging, CatalystCon Midwest, Hyatt Regency O’Hare, 9300 Bryn Mawr Avenue, Rosemont, Illinois 60018. No need to fear aging! Whether you’re 25 or 75, there’s plenty you can learn now to make sure that you age with a juicy attitude, sizzling orgasms, and strategies for staying sexually vibrant despite what the aging process throws your way. Joan Price presents practical tips and attitude adjustments to enrich your sex life lifelong – partnered or solo. Some are quick and easy, many will surprise you, and a few will take some practice and commitment. All will benefit you lifelong. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation! Joan's session is Sat., April 2, 12:30-1:40 pm, and you'll want to attend the whole conference!
Monday, April 4, 2016, 8 am-5 pm: Milwaukee SHARE Health Care Providers Day, Alverno College Conference Center, 3400 S 43rd St., Milwaukee, WI 53219. What Aren’t They Talking About? Sex and Identity in Clinical Practice. This special one-day conference for health care providers will focus on the sexual health and well-being of four distinct groups of people (seniors, people with disabilities, transgender patients, and people with diverse sexual backgrounds) who are often uncomfortable discussing their intimate lives in health care settings. This event will provide context and sensitivity for health care providers when working with these populations. Sponsored by The Tool Shed. Session descriptions here. Cost: $100. Registration here.
Tuesday, April 5, 2016, 8-10 pm: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud about Sex & Aging at The Tool Shed, 2427 N. Murray Ave, Milwaukee, WI 5321. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution. Sex has changed but it can still be spicy and very satisfying, with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. Joan Price, senior sex author and advocate, shares tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Joan answers all the questions you didn’t think you could ask out loud. An eye-popping, interactive, empowering mixed-gender workshop designed to help you have great sex through the years ahead. For couples and singles, all genders.
Sunday, November 8, 2015, 10:30 am - 12 pm: Oakmont Sunday Symposium, 7902 Oakmont Drive, Santa Rosa, CA. What Your Doctor Doesn’t Tell You (and Probably Doesn’t Know) about Sex after 60: Tips for increasing blood flow and arousal without pills; ways to work around arthritis limitations; how sex toys for women and men can increase sexual satisfaction; how to increase desire in long-term relationships; why orgasms are really good for you, either partnered or solo – sex educator Joan Price returns to spill all these secrets in her warm and lively manner. Bring your friends – and your doctor! Oakmont Sunday Symposium is open to all Oakmont residents and their invited guests.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015, 1-2:30 pm: How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at San Francisco Village, an aging-in-place membership organization for people over 60 in San Francisco, Institute on Aging, 3575 Geary Blvd. at Arguello. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating as a senior feels awkward and downright weird. What are the guidelines? How do you meet people? Do you have to use online dating? (If so, how do you navigate writing your profile and weeding through the responses?) How do you avoid the pitfalls that can send potential dates running in the other direction? When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome. Bring paper and pen or a laptop -- and a sense of humor. Free goodies: lubricant samples and condoms, for when you need them!
October 13, 2015, 1-2:30 pm: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sexat San Francisco Village, an aging-in-place membership organization for people over 60 in San Francisco, Institute on Aging, 3575 Geary Blvd. at Arguello. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution -- with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. Learn tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. You’ll take home new tools, techniques, and maybe a new attitude. It’s never too late for arousal and satisfaction – whether you’re partnered, dating, or on your own. Bring your questions!
Monday, September 7, 2015 7-9 pm: Ask Us About Sex after 50! with Joan Price and Linda Kirkman at Hares and Hyenas, 63 Johnston Street, Fitzroy, Victoria 3065, Australia. Yes, sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges: health issues, a solo life, the predictable sex that comes with longtime relationships, discomfort with changing bodies, lack of desire, dating at our age. But sex after midlife can also be hot and joyful if we learn, adapt, and explore what works for us. Let’s throw out the stereotypes and the old expectations that may not serve us anymore. We’ll cover relationship diversity, sexual health, fitting bodies together when they don't function or feel like they used to, and much more. Joan and Linda will debunk the myths, answer your questions, and send you home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex -- with or without a partner. If you are over 50, or you plan to be, or you work with the older population, you’ll get your questions answered in this lively presentation. Tickets $25AUD/$20AUD in advance, or $30AUD at door.
September 8-9, 2015: Joan Price is a keynote speaker for the inaugural conferenceLet’s Talk About Sex at the Pullman Melbourne on the Park, 192 Wellington Parade, Melbourne VIC 3002, Australia. Sponsored by Alzheimer’s Australia Vic and Council of the Aged. The inaugural Let’s Talk About Sex Conference aims to challenge many of the assumptions, taboos and stereotypes when it comes to older people and sexual intimacy. The failure to acknowledge sexuality and ageing has left many older people deprived of their right to a satisfying and fulfilling sex life. This Conference will promote discussion that aims to improve the health and emotional wellbeing of older people through recognition of their rights to sexual expression. It will challenge society’s failure to acknowledge sexuality and ageing. Topics such as sexual and gender diversity, sexual consent and sexuality among people with cognitive impairment will be discussed as we highlight the importance of relationships and intimacy as we age. It will also address the challenges encountered by carers in residential and community care.
September 10, 2015, 12:45-1:45 pm: Joan Price: Naked at Our Age at the Wheeler Centre, 176 Little Lonsdale St., Melbourne Victoria 3000 Australia. ‘If you want your sexual exuberance to match mine three decades after age 40, start listening to your elders’. That’s the advice American author Joan Price gave to Miley Cyrus in a 2013 open letter, after Cyrus announced that over-40s don’t have sex. In 2011, Price wrote Naked at Our Age: Talking out loud about senior sex, which explored the challenges, delights, surprises and frustrations of sex for older people. The book was praised for its warmth and humour as well as its practical, no-nonsense advice. Price will talk about sex – and seniors – with Australian sex therapist, educator and media commentator Cyndi Darnell. Join us for a candid, funny, grown-up and possibly sexy conversation. Free, reservations recommended.
Mon., Sept. 14, 2015, 5:30-7:30 pm, Ask Us About Sex after 50! with Joan Price and Linda Kirkman at Visual Arts Centre, 21 View St., Bendigo, Vic 3550, Australia. Yes, sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges: health issues, a solo life, the predictable sex that comes with longtime relationships, discomfort with changing bodies, lack of desire, dating at our age. But sex after midlife can also be hot and joyful if we learn, adapt, and explore what works for us. Let’s throw out the stereotypes and the old expectations that may not serve us anymore. We’ll cover relationship diversity, sexual health, fitting bodies together when they don't function or feel like they used to, and much more. Joan and Linda will debunk the myths, answer your questions, and send you home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex -- with or without a partner. If you are over 50, or you plan to be, or you work with the older population, you’ll get your questions answered in this lively presentation. Tickets $20AUD/$15AUD. For more info, email Linda Kirkman.
Wed., Sept. 16, 2015, 6:30-8:30 pm, What Your Clients are NOT Asking You about Sex: Talking About Senior Sex for Medical Professionals and Therapists, presented by the Society of Australian Sexologists. About half of all sexually active men and women aged 57 to 85 in the United States report at least one bothersome sexual problem; one third report at least two. Yet only 38 percent of men and 22 percent of women reported having discussed sex with a health professional since the age of 50. Why this information barrier? What can you, as professionals, do to overcome it with your patients and clients? Joan Price shares their changing sexual needs, problems, and fears, and what they wish their doctors, therapists, and other professionals and educators would help them resolve. Joan will address the 'extra mile' that sex therapists can go in helping their clients/patients. Venue: Level 3, 50 York Street, Sydney, Australia. $20AUD for SAS Members; $30AUD for non-members. RSVP sas-nsw@societyaustraliansexologists.org.au or drop-in.
Mon., Sept. 21 and Tues., Sept. 22, 2015, 7-9 pm: Great Sex after Fifty: two workshops with Joan Price, author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50. Sydney's Max Black presents author and educator Joan Price (USA) appearing in-store at Max Black 264 King St, Newtown NSW 2042, Australia, for two very special workshops designed to help you navigate the world of sex, dating and relationships after 50. These intimate and fun workshops will give you the chance to ask questions and get answers. Tickets: $20AUD here. Please arrive at 6:45 and settle in with a glass of champagne.
Sept. 21: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud about Sex & Aging: Sex after 50 - the challenges, pleasures and answers to all the questions we don’t think we can ask out loud. Sex has changed but it can still be spicy and very satisfying, with the right information. An eye-popping, interactive, empowering mixed-gender workshop designed to help you have great sex after 50, 60, 70 & beyond.
Sept. 22: How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? Dating after 50 can feel awkward & weird. What are the guidelines? Should you lie about your age? How do avoid pitfalls & handle rejection? What about safer sex with a new person? Whether you’re widowed, divorced or a longtime single this fun workshop will be illuminating, plus you’ll find out how others our age meet & mate.
August 14, 2015: Sexuality and Aging Institute in Washington, D.C. "What Your Clients are NOT Asking You about Sex": About half of all sexually active men and women aged 57 to 85 in the United States report at least one bothersome sexual problem; one third report at least two. Yet only 38 percent of men and 22 percent of women reported having discussed sex with a physician since the age of 50 years. Why this information barrier, and what can you, as professionals, do to overcome it with your patients and clients? Joan Price shares what her readers and interviewees, age 50-80+, express about their changing sexual needs, problems, and fears, and what they wish their doctors, therapists, and other professionals and educators would help them resolve.
The Institute will be held as the first day of the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit at the Hilton Alexandria Mark Center.
August 14-16, 2015: Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit in Alexandria, VA. The Sexual Freedom Summit features human rights activists, sexuality educators and researchers, professionals from the legal and medical fields, authors, sexual freedom movement leaders and organizational partners all working toward the time when sexual freedom is fully recognized as a fundamental human right. Joan Price presents "Let’s Talk about Senior Sex!" on Saturday, 8/15: You’ll learn the major sexual concerns that seniors may be reluctant to share with their medical providers and therapists, yet that impact their health and quality of life. Joan blasts the myths about sex and aging and gives you practical tips that will improve your senior clients’ sexual satisfaction. We’ll formulate practical questions that will elicit essential sexual information and share ways of talking about sex that will be comfortable for both your client and you.
June 3, 2015, 8-10 pm: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088. In this illuminating workshop, you'll get to voice your questions and get answers from none other than senior sex and dating expert, Joan Price. We'll talk about the challenges, the pleasures and all the questions we didn't think we could ask out loud. Free!
June 7, 2015, 8-10 pm: Lusting, Mating and Dating At Any Age! at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088. You’re ready to connect with the right person (or persons) for dating, sex, love, companionship -- so how can you find other singles who attract and interest you? How do you present yourself in the world of online dating, and avoid mistakes that send potential matches running in the other direction? Learn the Big Three Mistakes that most singles make whether they’re 25, 45, or 75 -- and what to do instead. Free! Saturday, April 25, 2015 1:00-2:30 pm, Presentation and Discussion with Joan Price on Sexuality and Aging at Central Reform Congregation, 5020 Waterman Blvd, St.Louis,Mo 63108, corner of Waterman and Kingshighway. RSVP by emailing Kassi Corley. Sponsored by Sex Positive St. Louis (SEX+STL), a community resource for people in the St. Louis metro area.
Sunday, April 26, 2015, 9:45-10:45 am, Let’s Talk about (Senior) Sex! The Ethical Society of St. Louis, 9001 Clayton Rd., Saint Louis, MO 63117-1003. Joan Price, author of the new The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, shares tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution -- with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. Sponsored by Sex Positive St. Louis (SEX+STL), a community resource for people in the St. Louis metro area.
Monday, April 27, 2015, 6-8 pm, Brown Lounge, George Warren Brown School of Social Work, Washington University in St. Louis, MO, Joan Price talks to students and AASECT members about senior sex. Sponsored by Sex Positive St. Louis (SEX+STL), a community resource for people in the St. Louis metro area.
Wednesday, April 29, 2015, 6-7:30 pm, Senior Sex: The 8 Questions You Wish You Could Ask at Senior Planet, 127 W 25th St, New York, NY 10001, between 5th and 6th Ave. Sex at our age can be the best of our lives, if you can adapt, accept, and explore what works for you. It can be challenging: health issues, a solo life, the predictable sex that comes with long marriages, discomfort with your changing bodies, dating at our age - all these and more can get in the way of pleasurable sex. In this talk, Joan Price answers the 8 most frequently asked questions about senior sex and our aging bodies: How can I spice up my sex life? What's the point if I'm never in the mood? How can we speed things up? And other questions you've always wanted to ask. Free, reservation required here.
Saturday, May 2, 2015, 4-6 pm, Free Sex Advice in the Park, SW corner of Union Square Park, closest to 14th and Union Square W, New York City,with Francisco Ramirez and Joan Price. Bring your questions, get answers! No charge, no judgments, just two lively sex educators answering your burning questions.
Sunday, May 3, 2015, 6-8 pm, Let’s Talk about Senior Sex at Pleasure Chest Upper East Side, 1150 2nd Ave, New York, NY 10065. Yes, sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges, but it can also be hot and joyful. Joan Price, senior sex expert and author of the new Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, will answer your questions and address your concerns. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex --with or without a partner! If you are over 50--or you plan to be--here’s what you want to know. (All genders & orientations welcome.) Free!
Friday, March 27 - Sunday, March 29, 2015: Elders Panel: “How Did We Get Here?"CatalystCon East, Hilton Crystal City Hotel, Arlington, VA, moderated by Joan Price. Carol Queen, Robert Morgan Lawrence, and Terri Clark are lively and influential sex educators who have been activists for sexual expression and acceptance since the sixties and seventies. They’ll discuss these topics and more:
How we were expected to behave and hide when we were young, and what happened to those who didn’t;
What sexual awareness/ activism was like in the sixties and seventies;
Why the sexual liberation and feminist movements were so important then and still are now;
Why the younger generation(s) need to understand what our pioneers accomplished for us;
What generational riffs we see now and how we can bridge the gap together.
Learn about the history behind your sexual liberation, which would not have happened without the trailblazing efforts of people like our panelists.
Sunday, March 15, 2015, 2:30-3:30 pm: "Never Too Late to Date" at the Tucson Festival of Books, Student Union, Catalina room. Newly single and terrified of dating again? Afraid you forgot how to flirt? Not looking forward to going to a bar and getting picked up (or picking up) someone? Wondering whether you should try online dating, or can you still put a personal ad in the local rag?Ann Anderson Evans, author of Daring to Date Again, and Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age and The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty, offer advice, insights and personal stories for people young and old looking to rekindle their love lives.
There's a new sheriff in town, and her name is Doxy Die Cast. She's strong, brightly colored, strong, made of a snazzy aluminum/titanium alloy, strong. Did I mention that the Doxy Die Cast is strong? Strong as in lie-back-and-it'll-happen strong, even if your orgasms usually take a lot of effort. If you like a high intensity clitoral vibrator, this power tool will sing to you in great, rumbly, throbby tones.
Let's back up. I had the privilege of talking to Ruby Goodnight from Doxy at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit last month. At the Doxy booth, I was dazzled by the gorgeous colors of the Die Cast models. After turning one on, I was even more dazzled by the strength of the vibrations.
In 2014, I had written a glowing review of the original Doxy Wand, so Ruby was familiar with my love of Doxy. When I told her I had to review this new model, she said she worried about its heavy heft for me, because she knew I wanted sex toys to work with arthritic wrists. That's one of my criteria for reviewing sex toys.
However, having experienced the Doxy Die Cast, I must repeat what I said about the original Doxy:
I generally prefer vibrators that are easy on arthritic wrists -- this one is not. It's heavy, it's huge, and I would be in pain from trying to hold it for any length of time. However, that's irrelevant, because it works so fast that my wrist barely notices. Yes, it's that good.
What do I love about the Doxy Die Cast? Let me count the ways:
It's really strong. (Yeah, I know I've made that point already, but that is the point.)
The head is made of body-safe silicone and has a bit of cush for comfort.
The head is large enough to send vibrations over much of the vulva and the internal clitoris, those pleasure-giving nerve endings under the surface. (See my Clitoring for an illustration of the wishbone- shaped part of the clitoris that we don't see.)
The control buttons are large, easy and comfortable to press, and they light up.
The vibrant color wouldn't be enough to sell me on a vibrator, but when I'm already sold, gorgeousness is an added bonus.
The Doxy Die Cast is easy to use -- just press the power button quickly to turn it on, then increase or decrease intensity with the "+" or "-" buttons. But there's also a mode called the "pulse setting" that you might not find on your own if you don't read the manual. This is a revving up from low intensity to high. Once you're in this mode, the "+" or "-" buttons vary the rate of acceleration. I usually don't care about vibrational patterns, but this is especially pleasing! Access the "pulse setting" it by turning off the Doxy, then press the power button for two seconds and it will be running in pulse mode.
Here are some things you might not like so much, though they don't bother me when compared to the pleasure:
It's big and heavy -- 13" long by 2.38" wide, weighing 1.8 pounds.
It has to stay plugged in while in use. (That's understandable for powering a motor that strong.)
Be careful following the instruction booklet, which is not completely correct for this model. Since the Doxy Die Cast has a silicone head (not "medical grade PVC" as it says -- that's a different Doxy), you do not want to use silicone lubricant with it, despite the booklet's instructions -- use water-based lube instead. Doxy tells me that these errors will be corrected on the next print run.
It comes with its own cushioned storage case. It's a huge, hardshell case, 19" long, so don't expect to carry it in a backpack. I would have appreciated a storage pouch in case I wanted to store or pack it without the mondo case, but this case will keep it clean and protected.
The Doxy Die Cast is available from SheVibe, a splendid sex toy shop with a devoted blogger following, because they treat their bloggers and their customers so well. Their website is also fun, because of the sexy comic art throughout the site. Check it out.
(Would you please tell SheVibe that they need some artwork showing people our age? Do you see me with my hand in the air, volunteering to pose?)
8/8/2016. Updated review, thanks to the new rechargeable version of the PalmPower!
August 2016 update:
Woo hoo, my beloved little PalmPower now has a rechargeable model, aptly named the PalmPower Recharge. If you're not familiar with the original PalmPower, read my June 2014 review below, then come back here.
The original model had to be plugged in while you used it. Not a big deal for most of us. But if you want to take your vibrator on a camping trip, or use it with a partner without getting tangled up, or you want to travel light on an overnight, you might have wished that you could charge your PalmPower, then take it away cord-free. Now you can. The PalmPower Recharge comes with a USB cord for recharging, then you can disconnect the cord and play on.
How's the intensity compared to the corded version? Very similar, not exactly the same. I found the rechargeable a smidgen less intense and a bit more rumbly than the buzzier original model. It's still powerful, especially given its small size. The design, size, shape are all the same, and the same attachments fit on both. Neither model is waterproof. You can remove and wash the cap (or other attachment), but you can't use the PalmPower in the bath or the pool, sorry.
If you've wished you had a strong, portable, small, uncorded vibrator that didn't require an outlet during use, the PalmPower Rechargewill put a sweet, satisfied smile on your face. If you already have the original and the necessity of using it corded isn't a significant annoyance, stick with that one.
Many thanks to the Smitten Kitten for sending me the new model, for promoting sex positivity and sex education, and for supporting my mission here. Wonderful folks, those Kittens.
If you're curious about the ring in the photo above, it's the Clitoring from Penelopi Jones. The design is the internal clitoris -- quite a conversation starter, eh? After I bought mine, I asked if they would offer a discount to my readers and audiences -- yep, if you enter "niceprice" in the coupon box, you get 15% off.
Original review, June 2014:
Drum roll, please: Introducing the PalmPower, a lightweight, ergonomically designed product that packs so much power into a small, silicone topped vibrator that it jumped to #1 on my personal Hit Parade the first time I used it. And the second time. And... you get the picture.
Let me back up. If I were inventing a vibrator that would be perfect for me, at age 70, and for most of you, dear readers over 50, it would have these qualities:
Really strong.
Body-safe materials.
Really strong.
Lightweight and ergonomic -- easy to hold with arthritic wrists for as long as it takes.
Really strong.
Easy to power on and turn up the intensity, even when fingers and vibrator are well lubed.
Really strong.
Difficult or impossible to inadvertently decrease intensity, switch to unwanted patterns, or turn off by mistake. (Hate it when that happens!)
Really strong.
Won't die, run out of charge, or otherwise kill the buzz (literally and figuratively) for as long as it takes.
Really strong.
Until last week, the Magic Wand -- my favorite since the 1970s -- was the clear winner, with all but one of the qualities above. But you know that the Magic Wand, as stellar as it is in every other category, is far from "lightweight." It's huge and heavy, but we put up with that because of its world class performance. (And, frankly, it doesn't take very long to reach our goal with the Magic Wand, so the monster heft of it does no real damage.)
The PalmPower has taken over as my favorite vibrator because it has all the qualities in my list. All of them, including lightweight. Best of all, as small as it is, the vibrations are super strong, strong, STRONG!
Using the PalmPower is simple. Plug it in (it comes with an assortment of plugs for different countries), press the button to turn it on. The longer you hold the button pressed in, the higher the intensity climbs! Release when you get the intensity where you want it, and it will stay there! (Sorry for all the exclamation marks, but I wish all vibrators worked like this.) Press and release quickly to turn it off. That's it.
The head of the vibrator is a silicone cap that pulls off easily for cleaning or for trying a different attachment. To put it on, line up the "T" inside the cap with the "T" on the head, and it snaps right on. (I couldn't get a clear photo of the "T," sorry.)
I received two of the four possible attachments -- one with narrow "ears" and one with widely spaced "ears."
You can use the main cap and/or these attachments for honest-to-goodness massage, and the "ears" are also fun for penis stimulation. (Try the narrow ears on his frenulum, that sensitive, nerve-rich area where the glans meets the shaft on the underside of the penis.)
There are two more attachments that I did not receive -- one turns the PalmPower into a rabbit (clitoral and vaginal stimulation) and the other is designed for G-spot stimulation.
6/267/14 update: I've tested the additional attachments. The "rabbit" doesn't do much for me, but I was surprised to discover that I really like the G-spotter! Here's why:
It fits so snugly that the PalmPower becomes hands-free (!)
The strongest vibrations are concentrated on the clitoris (where the cap presses), with more subdued vibrations right against the G-spot (where the internal part presses)
You can play with tapping it, rocking it, or just letting it sit and vibrate. Yummy.
The Palm Power does have some cons, but I'll overlook them because of all the pros:
It has to be plugged in while in use. (It comes with a nice, long cord, though, so you don't have to station yourself near the wall socket.)
Only the silicone cap can be washed -- the rest has to be wiped down without getting it wet. Be careful with the lube.
Hmmn, I think those are the only cons. It's a fabulous product!
Thank you, The Smitten Kitten, for introducing me to the PalmPower and sending me my new best buddy in return for an honest review.
Aging brings wisdom and experience -- and body image insecurity. Most of us, even if we glory in our sexuality, have misgivings about our ever-expanding wrinkles and sags. Sometimes it takes another pair of eyes -- whether a lover or a photographer -- to show us that our outer beauty matches our inner beauty. 
Joan is not only adorable, she is also breaking down stereotypes that women of a certain age are not considered sexy or sexual. I want people to see that lingerie isn’t just for the young and pert. Lingerie, and sex toys, can enhance your sex life and increase your self-confidence no matter your age, size, shape, or ability.
